Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire:The Real Story
by Celebithil Tindomiel
Summary: parody of GoF. slight slash, HarryCedric, and sorry, I'm horrible at summaries! Warning: massive OOCness of characters! but it's a parody, so isn't it expected?
1. I don't think I like girls!

**A/N:** The idea for this story came from one of my friends when we had gone to see HP and the GoF for the second time. Convinced that Harry and Cedric were gay, he constantly would tell me to write a story about it. I finally gave in and wrote this. The people who've read it said they liked it, so I decided to put it up on this site.

**Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire : The Real Story**

_By: Kitten Velour_

_Credit for several ideas involving Harry and Cedric go to lordofthefrogs (previously mentioned friend in the A/N)_

_This is the actual account of Harry's fourth year, taken down by a psychotic girl who believes she's a sane Ravenclaw._

Chapter 1 : I don't think I like girls!

Harry still couldn't believe that he had been picked as the fourth champion. Was that even possible? Apparently it was. Harry had just been happy that Cedric Diggory had been chosen as the Hogwarts champion. Whenever he saw Cedric he got this weird fuzzy feeling inside. Of course, Harry had no clue what the odd feeling was.

The night before, Hagrid had shown Harry the dragons that were going to be the First Task. Harry knew that he should tell Cedric as he was almost positive that the idiot Bulgarian and the French slut already knew. Harry paused in his walking, he should probably figure out their names before he started referring to them as "the idiot Bulgarian" and "the French slut".

As Harry walked through the passages, he saw that all the students were wearing pins that said, "Potter Stinks". Harry sighed and pushed past those idiots that dare to call themselves humans, looking for Cedric. He found Cedric in the courtyard lying on a bench with several of his Hufflepuff friends. Walking over, Harry found himself thinking, 'What kind of name is Hufflepuff? For god's sake, it sounds like some kind of fluffy marshmallow snack…'

Cedric looked up from his bench and got up, seeing Harry. He gave a slight glare to his friends and stood to meet Harry.

Harry, feeling Cedric's eyes on him, blushed slightly. "Uh… can I talk to you for a second?" he asked. Cedric nodded and they walked a bit away from the other Hufflepuffs.

"I've asked them not to wear the pins," Cedric said, looking at Harry sympathetically.

Harry shrugged, seeming to not care that Cedric was trying to make him feel better, but on the inside he was doing a happy dance. "It's dragons."

Cedric looked at him. Since he was a Hufflepuff and, indeed, not a Ravenclaw, he didn't have the faintest idea what Harry was talking about. "What?"

"The First Task is dragons," Harry explained. "The id- um… Krum and… Fleur already know."

Cedric smiled, "Thanks," he said. He was about to walk away when he suddenly stopped. "Do you want to come with me to Hogsmeade on the next weekend?"

Harry was surprised, but tried to sound cool, "Sure… I didn't have any plans for the next Hogsmeade weekend."

Cedric nods and begins to walk away, "See you then, Harry."

Harry watches him leave, then turns and sees someone watching them. The man walks over to him and Harry finally identifies him. It's Lucius Malfoy! He leans lazily on his cane. He wears a fur-lined black cloak and a black hat.

"Potter! Just the half-blood I was looking for!" Lucius said.

Harry looked around, confused. Since when does Lucius Malfoy greet him nicely.

Lucius sauntered over to him, "Now, I heard about you becoming the fourth Triwizard champion. This must be very stressful for you," he puts his arm across Harry's shoulders and gestures in a very Jack Sparrow-like way. "Worry is consuming your brain as you think about the First Task, yes?"

"N-not really…" Harry answered.

"Hush, Potter," Lucius snapped. "I now something that could help you very much… if you have the money to afford it… Which I'm sure you do."

"I'm not sure if -" Harry started to say.

"Good! Step into my office," Lucius said, motioning back towards the school. They walk into the school and into a nearby classroom. Once inside, Lucius tapped his cane on the floor twice. The classroom was turned into a comfortable looking sitting room.

"So… what exactly are you trying to sell me?" Harry asked.

"Do you really need to ask?" Lucius asked, taking off his hat. "I must tell you, though, that my prices are a bit high. One night with one of my best girls will be about thirty galleons."

Harry's eyes widened, "'Girls'? What are you? Some kind of pimp?" he asked.

"Well… yes," Lucius answered.

Harry quickly walked towards the door, "I'm gonna have to go."

"But I know you'd enjoy one of them! Or more! As long as you have the money, you can have as many as you want!" Lucius said.

"I don't… I don't think I like girls!" Harry said quickly, leaving the room.

"Potter's gay?" Lucius asked, confused. He put his hat back on and left the room. "Well… I'm sure Hogwarts has many more rich _straight_ teen boys."


	2. A Day In the Life of a Pimp

**A/N:** Thanks very much to my reviewers... even though it's only 3, that's more than I've gotten on the first chapter of any of my stories before (of course, that might be because my other stories sucked... oh well, hehe...) Now, onto the second chapter...

Chapter 2 : A Day In the Life of a Pimp

Lucius Malfoy sighed. Narcissa wouldn't let him keep his new business at Malfoy Manor. 'Annoying woman…' he thought, pacing in front of the fireplace. 'All the girls that work for me are so much more agreeable…' He walked over to the table and picked up his pimp cane and black hat. "Now… where are there many males that would possibly be able to pay my prices…?" he thinks for a moment before smirking, "Hogwarts! It's perfect! Why didn't I think of it before?" He laughs evilly. "Now… how to get that old idiot's permission… Ah… I'll figure out a plan when I get there. Summer! Angel!" he called.

Two girls - er- whores walk in to the room, one in a red dress that reach mid-thigh and the other in a black and pink dress with a matching witches hat. "Yeah?" they asked simultaneously.

'It's fascinating… those were their names even _before_ they started working for me…' Lucius thought. "We're taking a little trip," said Lucius. "Narcissa doesn't appreciate my new business, so we're headed to Hogwarts."

Lucius walks into Dumbledore's office with Summer on one arm and Angel on the other. "Dumbledore! It's great to see you… really it is," said Lucius.

Dumbledore looks at him untrustingly.

"I've started a new business and, well, Narcissa has demanded that I not keep it at Malfoy Manor," Lucius said. He takes off his hat and hands it to Angel. "So I thought 'Where could I bring my business?' And Hogwarts was the obvious answer!"

"And those two are a part of your business? They're prostitutes?" Dumbledore asked.

"Actually they prefer being called courtesans," Lucius said aside to Dumbledore. "But, yes, they are."

"And why would you think that Hogwarts was a good place for that type of business?" Dumbledore asked, looking quite angry.

"Right… well," Lucius said, taking his hat back, "come on girls." The three of them walked back out of the office.

After the attempt to get Potter to buy one of the girls for the night, Lucius wandered around the school, looking for possible clients. 'Too poor… too muggle…' he thought, observing the boys of the school. 'Potter seemed like the only possible candidate at this mudblood filled school…' Spotting Severus Snape, Lucius walked over to him. "Severus! My old friend!"

Snape raised an eyebrow at Lucius' greeting.

"I'm sure you've heard about my new business adventure," said Lucius.

"Actually, I -" Snape began to say.

"Good! News gets around quickly. Speaking of news, did you know that Potter's gay?" Lucius asked. "But never mind that, I'm sure you want to get straight to picking a girl. I must warn you, my prices are a bit high."

Snape's facial expression blanched, "A what!" he asked incredulously.

Lucius looked at him oddly, "I know you haven't gotten any in a while, but surely, you must remember that there are females in the human species?"

If looks could kill, Lucius would have been dead twenty times over. "I know what a girl is," said Snape through clenched teeth.

"Ooh, good," Lucius said.

"But since when have you been selling them?" Snape asked.

"Since when haven't I been selling them!" Lucius responded.

Angel sat in Lucius' "office". She had replaced her pink and black witch hat for one of Lucius' black pimp hats. "Do you think Lucius will be coming back with many clients?" she asked, glancing at Summer.

Summer sat on the desk, sulking. "I don't care," she said shortly.

Angel laughed, taking off the hat and holding it her hands, "Oh don't be in a bad mood!"

"I never get any actual clients! It's not fair!" Summer said with a pout. "Draco always takes me."

Angel smirks, "That's really actually funny! He has to have a whore sleep with him 'cause he can't get any girls at Hogwarts!"

Summer sent a death glare at Angel.

Angel laughed again and walked towards the door, "Have fun with the little fourteen year old tonight!"


	3. You can't sell a girl to Potter!

**A/N:** Ooh, chapter 3 after sooooooooo long, hehe. Oh thank you lovely reviewers and I'm so sorry for keeping chapter 3 away for so long especially since the whole story is already written, but for some odd reason my life though I thought I really didn't have much of one kind of caught up with me and stuff. Anyway... on with chapter 3.

Chapter 3 : You can't sell a girl to Potter!

Harry and Cedric walked through Hogsmeade together. Harry had a continuous blush across his face. He was quite nervous to be with Cedric without anyone else around. They had been to Honeydukes and were currently on their way to the Three Broomsticks. Nearing the door, Harry suddenly found his Gryffindor courage and reached for Cedric's hand. He beamed when Cedric didn't pull away and they walked in.

Walking in, they were noticed by Summer, who was in the process of being groped by Draco Malfoy. She harshly pushed him away and stared at Harry and Cedric's hands. It took Draco a few minutes to realize what she was looking at. He turned and his eyes widened, "Potter and Diggory are -!" Draco was cut off by Summer nearly pouncing on him and effectively shutting him up.

'So that's why Lucius couldn't get Potter to buy one of us… interesting…' she thought while Draco returned to his groping of her.

Harry and Cedric sat down at a table in the corner. Both had a Butterbeer. Harry stared into Cedric's eyes lovingly. Cedric then looked at him confused, "Is there something on my face?" he asked.

"Wha…?" Harry asked.

"You were staring at me," Cedric said.

Harry nodded and Cedric looked at him expectantly. "What?" Harry asked.

"Well, why were you staring at me?" Cedric asked.

Harry opened his mouth to respond.

"Potter! Diggory! Just the two Hogwarts champions I was looking for," Lucius said, appearing out of no where. "Would either of you be interested in -?"

"No," Harry interrupted.

Lucius gave him a slight glare, then continued, "-buying a -"

"No!"

Cedric looked at him, amused, "Just let him finish, Harry," he said.

"Thank you, Diggory," Lucius said, "Would either of you be interested in buying a girl for the weekend?"

Cedric blinked as though the question hadn't even been asked, "Could you - could you repeat that?"

"Would. Either. Of. You. Be. Interested. In. Buying. A. Girl. For. The. Weekend?" Lucius said, becoming rather annoyed.

"What exactly do you mean by, 'buying a girl for the weekend'?" Cedric asked.

"Please don't answer. Please don't answer. Please don't answer," Harry muttered under his breath.

"Well…" Lucius looked around for a moment, "Draco! Get off of her for more than five seconds."

Draco scowled, moving away from Summer, who instantly walked over to Lucius.

"This is one of my girls," Lucius said. "Unfortunately, she's not for sale. My son always makes sure of that," he added in annoyance. "I don't understand why the boy can't find an _actual_ girlfriend… Anyway, a girl like her would be… about… forty-five galleons for the rest of the weekend."

"We don't want to buy a girl for the weekend!" Harry said loudly, catching the attention of most of the people in the Three Broomsticks.

"Fine, Potter!" Lucius said angrily, taking Summer by the arm and walking her out. Draco rushed to follow them.

"I suppose he's asked you that already?" Cedric asked, looking at Harry.

Harry grumbled a response.

Back in Lucius' office, Summer was on the couch and Draco was sitting barely a centimeter away from her.

"Draco! You're going to suffocate her," Lucius said irritably.

Angel walked in the room. She walked behind the chair that Lucius was sitting in and rubbed his shoulders for a second. She moved around and sat on the arm of the chair, "What's wrong, Lucius?" she asked.

"Potter won't buy a girl from me," he muttered.

A shocked expression formed on her face, "You can't sell a girl to Potter!"

"And why not?" Lucius asked.

"Well… everyone knows that virgins don't die, so if we want Harry to live to defeat Voldie, then he can't get any," Angel answered.

"So… you're saying that everyone who has died isn't a virgin," Lucius said.

"Yeah. Like _Moaning_ Myrtle," said Angel.

Both Summer and Draco groaned in disgust. "I didn't need to hear that one," Summer muttered.


	4. Of Prefects Bathrooms and Virginity

**A/N:** Whoa! After so long of not putting up new chapters of this, I'm now uploading the second chapter today! Hehe. I know, I know, I'm a loser, whatev. Have fun reading... if anyone's still reading this.

Chapter 4 : Of Prefects Bathrooms and Virginity

Harry frowned. He couldn't figure out what he was supposed to do with that damned golden egg. He wished that he could spend more time with Cedric, but now that Ron was speaking to him again, he wanted to have all that buddy-buddy manly time. It confused Harry to say the least.

Harry glared at the egg. The idiot Bulgarian and the French slut probably already figured it out. But for now he would settle for worrying about the upcoming Yule Ball.

Harry walked down the hallway, hoping for a simple glimpse of Cedric. Alas he would not get that joy. He found himself going to the owlery for no apparent reason. When he got there, he found a Ravenclaw, Cho Chang to be exact. Harry needed to find a date to the Yule Ball and well, he certainly didn't want to take one of Lucius' whores…

"Err…Doyouwanttogototheballwithme?" Harry asked.

"What?" Cho asked.

"Do you want to go to the ball with me?" Harry asked again, this time putting spaces between the words.

"Um, sorry, but I already told Cedric Diggory I'd go with him," Cho answered.

Harry's world was suddenly dark and dismal. Cho freaking Chang was going to the Yule Ball with Cedric!

Over all, the Yule Ball went well.

The good points:

1) Harry had a date and purposely pointed her out while near Cedric.

2) Harry and Ron found it absolutely hysterical that Malfoy had brought a whore to the Yule Ball and she didn't even want to be there with him.

3) After the first dance, Harry didn't have to see Cho (that whore) throwing herself all over Cedric.

The bad points:

1) Ron went completely ballistic when he saw that Hermione had gone to the ball with Viktor Krum. (Harry had to admit that Ron was scarily in love with Krum.)

2) After about half an hour, Malfoy's whore actually started enjoying the fact that she was there with him.

For a long time after the ball, Harry was still very upset that Cedric hadn't told him that he was going with Cho Chang. Eventually, the two estranged loves ran into each other.

"Harry," Cedric said. "Have you- have you been able to figure out that egg yet?"

"No."

"Well… you know the prefects' bathroom? It's not a bad place for a bath. Just… mull things over in the water for a while," said Cedric.

As Cedric walked away, Harry couldn't help thinking, 'Are you going to be joining me?'

Draco Malfoy was less than happy after the second task. Potter was again everyone's favorite hero after he had saved Weasel and the annoying little French girl. Of course the best part of his day had come during the second task also. The mudblood Granger's hair was absolutely hysterical after Krum got her out of the water.

Now after the task, he couldn't find Summer. He really needed some way to relieve his frustrations. Where was that bloody whore…?!

"So you're really serious that everyone who's died in the magical community wasn't a virgin?" Summer asked. She and Angel were wandering through the forest. Summer was hoping they might run into a vampire that she could sleep with.

Angel nodded, "Yup."

"The Bloody Baron?"

"He was a bit sadistic. Liked to make girls bleed. How do you think he got the name?" Angel asked.

"Oh, I don't know, maybe the silver blood pouring down him?!" Summer sighed. "Professor Binns?"

"Yeah. Poor girl fell asleep though. Apparently he's been boring all his life."

"That guy?" Summer asked as she stopped walking.

"Who? Oh, that guy?" Angel looks down at the ground. "Ah, yeah, had a psycho Death Eater son."

They continue walking.

"Is it odd that there's a dead guy in the forest?" Summer asked.

"No," Angel answered, "Why do you ask?"

Summer looked at her incredulously, "That guy back there - ah, never mind."


	5. The Third Task, the Loss of Love

**A/N:** Oh, the end, the end... but I'm glad that I've finally pushed myself to get back on my fanfiction account and finish uploading the story. I might write a sequel, only after the 5th movie comes out. July seems so far away...

Chapter 5 : The Third Task, the Loss of Love, and Dumbledore on Drugs (a.k.a. the longest chapter of a parody story in all existence!)

Summer skipped through Hogwarts. Finding herself in the dungeons, she looked around confused.

"You! You're one of Lucius'… whores."

Summer blinked, "Well… we prefer being called courtesans, but yes."

Snape glared at her. "What are you doing down here?"

"I'm going for a nice leisurely walk in the fresh air," she said sarcastically. She was about to leave when she suddenly stopped, "Hey. You're a teacher." At Snape's nod she continued, "There's a dead guy in the forest." She resumed her skipping and left the dungeons.

Lucius walks into the Quidditch Stadium which is now being used for the Third Task.

"So… whatever happened to Ludo Bagman?" Angel asked.

"Who?" everyone asked.

"Never mind…" she muttered. The Hogwarts Band, a newly created group that consists of the rivals of the Hogwarts Chorus, begins to play. Angel groans. "Great…"

The four Champions come into the stadium.

"Earlier, we were insane enough to let the crazy ex-Auror, who is possibly a Death Eater in disguise, place the Triwizard Cup inside the maze! He could have easily turned it into a portkey and the first person who touches it will be teleported to a graveyard in the middle of no where to be killed by Voldemort! Just kidding!" said Dumbledore. "Now, Mr. Diggory and Mr. Potter will go in first so they can have time to work out their differences and make-out before the Bulgarian idiot and the French slut join in the game!" He turns to the Champions, "I'm supposed to give you a little speech, but as you can tell from what I've just said, I'm high as a- well, something that's really high. If my brain wasn't so impaired I could have come up with a good analogy- and I would have realized that it might just be a bad thing that Moody was so eager to put the Cup inside the maze."

Moody giggles high-pitched and girlishly.

"So, you're, like, a Death Eater," said Summer as she looked at the Dark Mark on Snape's arm. "Wow."

"Yeah, but be quiet. That plot twist isn't revealed to all the students until the end of the sixth book," said Snape.

"Ah… What do you do?" Summer asked excitedly.

"I kill Dumbledore," Snape responded.

Summer looks thoughtful as she sees an image of Dumbledore falling to the ground dead. "Interesting… So… what's going on now?" she asked.

"The four Champions go into the maze to try to get to the Triwizard Cup first."

"Does it really make sense to call it a Triwizard tournament if there are four champions?" Summer asked.

"Well-… I suppose not," said Snape.

"So… what's going on again?" Summer asked.

Snape sighs.

Draco appears between them, "MY WOMAN!!"

Lucius comes up behind them, "Draco, Draco, don't be possessive. If Snape wants to pay for Summer, then he can," he said.

Draco death-glared at his father. "MINE!!!!"

Lucius sighed, "Well… I have to go hang out in a graveyard now."

Harry and Cedric have been teleported to a graveyard. "Hmm… well, this seems oddly like Dumbledore's impaired joking," said Cedric.

"Yeah," said Harry.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Cedric dies.

Wormtail does some spooky dark magic to make Voldemort a new body. Voldemort-the-fetus turns into Voldemort-the-scary-looking-guy-with-an-amazing-forked-tongue-and-wonderfully-red-eyes. "Welcome my friends- er, screw that, I hate you all, you're just my followers. None of you tried to find me, I had to live in the back of fuckin' Quirrell's head!" He glares at all the Death Eaters, "Not even Lucius came to look for me."

"Well, you see, my lord-" Lucius began.

"Unless you-" he pauses to think of a random far-fetched story, "-became a pimp and are currently in the possession of a large group of whores, you have no excuse."

"Well, actually, I did," said Lucius.

"Oh really? You'll be my favorite again if you give me one of them," said Voldemort.

"What about me, milord?!" Wormtail asked.

"Ah, yes, well you did… er, help, I suppose," said Voldemort. He waves his hand and gives Wormtail a silver hand. He turns back to Lucius, "So, about that girl…"

"HEEEEEEEEELLOOOOOOO! You're supposed to be trying to kill me! Didn't you even read the script?!" Harry asked angrily.

"Well… I just wanted to try improvising…" Voldemort said quietly.

"Yeah?! Well, you suck at life! You couldn't even kill me when I was only one year old!"

"GRRRRRR!" Voldemort stormed over to Harry and put his hand on Harry's head.

Harry yelled in pain.

Voldemort yelled for the hell of it.

They went back and forth.

Voldemort laughed triumphantly, "Try insulting me now!" He waved his wand and the statue let Harry go. "Now, come on. I wanna duel you," he said eagerly.

"…Why…?"

"Don't question me, Harry! Now bow."

Harry didn't move.

"I said 'bow'!" Voldemort yelled and he magically made Harry bow.

"Pwned!" Lucius said happily.

Voldemort ignored him, "Now, I'm supposed to go on about how your mother was a dirty whore, but I find it all rather boring…"

"AVADA KEDAVRA/EXPELLIARMUS!"

Shapes came out of the end of Voldemort's wand. James Potter looked at Harry for a while. He lets out a deep breath that he didn't need to hold in the first place since he was dead. "Thank god, you look like me," said James. "I never was sure if-"

"What?" Harry asked curiously.

"Nothing!" said James quickly.

"Harry!" Cedric's ghost said.

"Cedric!"

"Take my body back, will you? Take my body back to my father," said Cedric, "and uh… try not to turn into a necrophiliac."

"What? Don't use big words. I'm the 'boy-who-lived' not the 'boy-who-read-the-dictionary'!" said Harry.

"This all sweet and everything," Lily said after gagging, "but you have to let go now!"

The connection broke and Harry and dead!Cedric were teleported back to the arena.

Lucius appeared in the stands again.

"How is your graveyard?" Angel asked.

"Good, and yours?" Lucius asked.

"What?"

"OOOOOH! I thought we were sharing mindless small-talk," said Lucius.

Angel sighed, "For Merlin's sake! Anyway, Draco seems close to harming Snape," she said.

"Voldemort has returned," said Lucius.

"What?!"

"OOOOOH! I thought we were sharing random facts," said Lucius.

"You're an idiot."

Harry reappeared in the arena with Cedric's body. Cheering and triumphant music began. Dumbledore tried to pry Harry off of Cedric's body.

"No! No! My love!" Harry clings to Cedric.

"What happened?" Dumbledore asked.

"Voldemort killed him!" said Harry.

"I though Voldemort was just a fetus," said Dumbledore.

"Well, now he's a scary looking man with an amazing forked tongue and wonderfully red eyes- uh… I don't know why I just said that…" said Harry.

"Yes, well, now I'm going to trust your safety to the man who turns students into ferrets," said Dumbledore pushing Harry over to Moody.

"Are you ok, Harry?" Moody asked.

"Uh…"

"So, what happened in that graveyard?" Moody asked.

"I didn't say that I was in a graveyard…" said Harry.

Moody took out a tape recorder, "Well, yes you did." He pressed play and Harry's voice said, '…I was in a graveyard…'

"Oh! Well then," said Harry. "Voldemort came back and stuff and he almost killed -" he stopped suddenly, "Wait! You just recorded me when I said, 'I didn't say that I was in a graveyard'."

"No I didn't," said Moody.

"Well, if you're sure," said Harry.

Moody nodded, "Now continue with telling me about the scary looking man with an amazing forked tongue and wonderfully red eyes."

"How did you know what he looked like?" Harry asked.

"Uh… internet?"

"Ok!"

The door was blasted open and Dumbledore and Snape rushed in. Snape gave Moody Veritaserum. Dumbledore asked some rather boring questions before Moody turned into - GASP - Barty Crouch Jr.

"Can't say I didn't expect it," said Dumbledore with a shrug. He and Harry left.

Snape pointed his wand an inch or so to the left of Crouch Jr.'s mouth. Crouch Jr. darted out his tongue towards the wand. Snape, terrified by the actions of Crouch Jr., ran out of the room and back to wherever Lucius and his whores were.

Dumbledore stood in front of the students. "Today… we acknowledge a really terrible loss. Cedric Diggory was one of those Hufflepuff-types. He was killed by Voldemort. Unfortunately, no one important is going to believe that Voldemort is actually back for another year," said Dumbledore. "I can say so many things about Cedric, but… ah hell, I can't think of anything."

"Ooh! Ooh!" Summer eagerly raised her hand.

"Yes?" Dumbledore asked sounding annoyed.

Summer squealed happily, got up, and ran over to the front. "Cedric Diggory was a lovely boy. Though, unfortunately he was a Hufflepuff… and not to mention, gay also! I mean, there was this time in Hogsmeade, at the Three Broomsticks, I saw them walk in. Of course I couldn't watch them all that well because Draco was practically on top of me and-" she stopped as Dumbledore pushed her back to her seat.

"Right! Anyway…!"

Lucius stood with Angel and Summer. They watched as Ron said a tearful good-bye to a scared looking Viktor Krum. Hermione seethed. Harry stood of to the side looking depressed.

"He'll get over Cedric soon enough," said Angel with a shrug.

Summer nodded. She had Lucius' pimp hat on her head.

Lucius took his hat and placed it on his head before slipping an arm around each of their waists. "Come, girls, it's time for us to go," he said. "Besides Voldemort would like to meet you."

"I'm with Draco!" Summer said quickly. "Voldemort is **SO** not taking me as his whore."

Angel glared at her, "I hate you…"

Ron wiped his eyes and sniffled, "Do you think we'll ever have a freaking normal year at Hogwarts?"

"Ronald, we have magic," Hermione said annoyed, "that **_was_** a normal year for us…" She sighed, "Everything's going to change now, isn't it?"

"Yes," said Harry.

Angel appeared next to them, "For god's sake Harry! That question was the movie's tagline and you respond with, 'Yes'?! Are you an idiot?!"

"Well…" Harry began.

"That was a rhetorical question!!!!"


End file.
